Monday, October 10, 2011

Heartfelt...

If you haven't heard of Heartfelt already I'd like to share with you just a little story of why what they offer is so precious.


A little background: Heartfelt are a group of photographers who capture photographic memories for families of stillborn, critically ill, premature babies and terminally ill children.

I became a volunteer photographer for Heartfelt a few months back and in that time I have been a part of some families darkest hours, invited in to photograph and capture priceless memories for them to hold on to of their children. To say these moments have changed me would be an understatement, I am constantly astounded by the love and strength these families posess, and every child has been so sweet and precious.

We have lost two babies (I call them babies because as far as I'm concerned the moment a woman discovers she's pregnant, that gift of life is referred to as just that, a baby!), one very early, a miscarriage, the second a little later, though still classified as a miscarriage I discovered at an 11 week scan that our baby had no heartbeat, and surgery followed a week later. That loss was devastating, but only a taste of what I imagine others experience. I'm a very visual person and absolutely wish, if it were even possible, to have had images to remember my babies... I regret not even asking for an ultrasound image now.

I captured some images that helped me process my losses, and they (apart from a tattoo) are all I have to reflect on of my two babies I'll never meet (not in this world at least - if you're that way inclined).

When I read about Heartfelt I knew instantly this was a group I could be a part of. Having had a friend years ealier give birth to a stillborn baby boy I remember feeling so clueless as to what to even say or offer her and her husband... nothing really seemed enough. Flowers and a card... pathetic as it seemed to me, at least they knew I loved them. Heartfelt seemed to just capture my whole mindset of capturing life in all its forms. Capturing all of lifes moments is a bit of an obsession of mine, and while it's so normal for a new mum and dad to dote over their child and have gorgeous photos capturing every milestone, it seems so wrong to not have beautiful images of any child, born too early or with life threatening illness, or even born sleeping... There is beauty in every single child, and Heartfelt capture that.

Which brings me to my story - Shared to me by my husband:

Hubby was chatting with the receptionist "W" at the chiropractor. "W" has been seeing Hubby and I for years as we've been visiting the same practice due to our back issues. There was a discussion about a friend of a woman who had to make the heartbreaking decision to terminate a pregnancy post 20 weeks due to a serious condition with the baby, which would mean if the baby had even survived birth it would have been unlikely to live very long or have much quality of life.

This lead to "W" remarking that she didn't think that stillbirth was all that common, which lead Hubby to say that actually it is, with about 400 or so in Victoria alone in any one year. This came as a big surprise to "W" and Hubby explained that yes, "Emily is a volunteer photographer for Heartfelt who photograph stillborn babies and sick babies." There was a bit of a moment of 'Oh my God, how sad' and then Hubby looked over and saw a woman in the waiting area who had heard this conversation.

This woman, "C" looked upset, and at this point commented that "Heartfelt are a very precious group of people." It turned out she had used the services of Heartfelt a few years earlier when her child was stillborn and she was so thankful and grateful for those photos that she could not even express how special they were, especially now, being able to show her two living children their older sibling. She commented that "You're wife is a special woman to do this." and as Hubby recounted this to me, it hit him just how important Hearfelt are to families who need their service. This is the reason Heartfelt Photographers do what they do... not for the 'Thank-You' but because we've all been affected by loss and know how important it is to have beautiful images and memories to look back on.

Hubby finds it hard to understand the depth of it, but this moment seems to have clarified what Heartfelt are about... capturing beautiful photographic memories for families. And if nothing else, because of that conversation at least one more person knows about Heartfelt.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month - what better time to be able to SHARE and open the conversation about losing a child.


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